A new and expanded edition of Peter Allison's hilarious, highly original collection of essays based on the Botswana truism: "Only food runs!" With biting wit and tales of outrageous adventure, Peter Allison gives us a safari guide's first-hand account of working in the African bush. Allison regales us with stories about confronting the world's fiercest terrain of wild animals and, most terrifying of all, managing herds of gaping tourists run amok. His humor is exceeded only by his love and respect for the animals of the Kalahari. As a top safari guide, he knows he serves the whims of his wealthy clients, yet he often has to stop the impulse to run as far away from them as he can. When this isn't possible, his goal is to limit any negative exposure to humans by planning trips that are minimally invasive--unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way. With much good-natured scorn for himself, no one but Peter Allison could make up these outrageous-but-true tales!